


Wings

by magical_procrastinator



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 20:22:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3460727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magical_procrastinator/pseuds/magical_procrastinator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bo and her daughters have been waiting for Tamsin to come back to them—but it's been a while.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wings

“Momma?”

Upon hearing her daughter's voice, Bo went into the bedroom. Lorelei was sitting on her bed, cross-legged, clutching a piece of paper in her hands. She looked up and smiled. “Look, Momma,” she said softly, holding up the picture for Bo to see. It was an ocean with a rainbow, with a purple line stretching the surface the ocean. She pointed to the purple strip. “That's where Mommy lives.”

Bo smiled a watery smile, and sat down beside her daughter. “In the purple bit?”

“Uh-huh.” The little girl traced her finger along the lavender ocean surface. “She runs in meadows all day and dances in the stars.”

“Mommy doesn't like to dance,” Bo reminded her softly, feeling a familiar ache in her chest. “Remember?”

“She likes dancing in the purple bit, Momma,” Lorelei insisted. “Her wings help her.”

“I see.”

“Her wings make her bounce up and down like a space man.”

“That sure is something.”

“Can I tell you a shushie, Momma?”

“Of course, sweetie.”

“And you won't tell no-one?”

“No. It'll be our shushie.” With that, the little girl struggled to her feet, clutching her mother's shoulder. She snuggled into her, and cupped a hand around her ear to whisper.

Bo's face fell, and she wrapped her arms around her daughter. “Honey...”

“It’s true! Mommy comes into my room at night, Momma. She comes into Isabel's too. She sits beside me and touches my face.”

“Lori, baby? Mommy's not here anymore,” Bo said brokenly, tears filling her eyes. “Remember? She had to go away?”

“But she is here. She kisses my head and then tells me she loves me. Then she does the same for Isabel. Doesn't she come into your room?”

Bo couldn't reply; her throat was too tight with pain, and the remembrance of losing the love of her life. “I...no. No, I don't...no.”

“Maybe you just can't see her Momma. Maybe she can’t use her wings to get to you.”

Bo’s heart broke. “Maybe sweetie.”

“Why don't you stay in here tonight? Then when Mommy comes you can see each other.”

“It's okay, sweetie.”

“Don't you miss her?”

“So much, baby girl. So much.”

“Momma?”

“Yes?”

“When Mommy come home for real?”

“I don't know, baby. The times are always different, aren't they? Sometimes it's a month, sometimes it's two.”

“It been four, Momma.”

Bo swallowed. “I know. It's just taking a bit longer this time, that's all.”

“What if she doesn't come back?”

“ _What_?”

“What if she likes the purple bit too much?” There was genuine fear in the little brunette’s voice. “Maybe she'll stay there forever.”

“She won't. She wouldn't, she wouldn't do that to us. She wouldn't leave us.” _She would never_.

Lorelei blinked, then hugged her mother as tightly as she could. “I think she would like it if you left the light on tonight.”

“Why's that?”

“She might hit her knee on something. It's hard to see in the dark. It wouldn't be good if she hurt herself.”

“Okay sweetie. I'll leave the nightlight on.” She tucked Lorelei in and checked on Isabel one last time, before getting herself ready for bed. She turned the lights off and crawled under her duvet covers, but after a minute, she got up and turned the desk lamp on, pillow clutched tightly to her chest as she got back under the covers. She looked around, expecting to see her beautiful blonde Valkyrie, expecting to see her emerge from the shadows.

She saw nothing. Feeling tears well up, she closed her eyes and thought of Tamsin. Too afraid to ask her to show herself. Too afraid of what may happen if she did. She wore the woman's pyjamas and squeezed her pillow as if it were replacement enough. Still her heart ached. She longed for the woman she loved, the mother of her children. She longed for Tamsin. But Tamsin wasn't here, and hadn't been for months. Tonight was no different. Turning the lights on would make no difference. Her daughter's dreams of her Mommy were just that—dreams. Hopes. A child's desperate belief in the impossible.

But what Bo seemed to always forgot, was that they were Fae. And nothing was impossible when it came to the Fae. The smallest flicker of the light didn't draw Bo's attention away from the door. She was listening raptly, trying to distinguish her daughter's voice from the wind battering the walls. Listening for a 'mommy' or an 'I love you'.

'Don't leave me'.

'Stay with me'.

'Can you see?'

'Don't hurt your knees.'

A tear ran down Bo's face. Besides the breath of an angry sky, she couldn't hear any of those things. “Stupid Valkyrie rebirth shit,” she hissed into the empty air around her, gripping the pillow tightly to her chest as if she was trying to stuff it into the hole in her heart. With a glare, she cast her eyes to the ceiling. “And I hope you heard that, Thomasina!”

There was no indication that Thomasina had heard. Swallowing the hot, hard lump in her throat, Bo closed her eyes. I'm sorry, she thought. I didn't mean that. Since her quiet apology went unnoticed again, and was in no way enough to make Bo feel better, the brunette slid back out of bed, all intentions of sleep leaving her eyes as she pulled open the top drawer of the desk cabinet, rummaging around until her hand found the familiar leather backing of a book. Straining her eyes against the harshness of the lamp, Bo eased into the chair, yawning and scratching her arm as she did so. She knew she should probably sleep, if just for a few hours, but Lorelei's talk of Tamsin's appearances—even if they were just dreams—had unsettled the Succubus. She opened the journal to a new page, briefly eyeing the entry dated October 3rd before taking out a pen and beginning to write.

_October 6_

_I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean anything by it. Valkyrja tradition is sacred, I get that. And I know it's important to you. I shouldn't have spoken negatively about it. So, I'm sorry. But then, I'm not that sorry. 'Cause this whole thing is shit. Jesus Christ, Tamsin, where are you? It's been 98 days. Almost 100 days! Do you have any idea how long that is!? You missed Izzy's 8th birthday yesterday, babe. She was really upset. And I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I'm not. I know you can't help it. It just broke my heart to see her so excited and then so sad. She liked the Disney dolls we bought for her, though. She said that Sleeping Beauty's new name is Tam-Tam. Isn't that adorable? She made her roll her eyes and everything :) I know I'm repeating myself with these letters, that I say pretty much the same thing every time I write, and I complain about the same things. But it's only because I miss you. I miss you so much. And the girls miss you. They draw you pictures all the time. Isabel spoke about you at her Show and Tell last week at school. She said you were her angel hero. Lorelei says you've been visiting her and Isabel? What's that all about? Have you? Or has she just been dreaming you? And if you have been visiting then why the Hell haven't you visited me? Don't you miss me? And if you can visit then why haven't you just come back? Are you stuck? Are you lost? Tell me and I'll come find you, babe. Give me a sign and I'll be there in a heartbeat, no matter how far. Just tell me. I miss you. I love you. Come home. Please. I don't know how much longer I can last without you. Forever yours, Bo._ T

he lamp flickered slightly, and goosebumps ran the length of Bo’s arms. She froze in place, listening once again for sounds beyond the wind. Tamsin? This was insane. Impossible. Nothing’s impossible.

This is! Bo could almost feel fingertips ghosting along her neck, could almost feel breath against her ear and her cheek. Arms could not be wrapping around her waist but it felt as if they were. Lips could not be brushing against her back but it felt as if they were. This is impossible. Right?

She almost missed the tugging at her tanktop. “Momma?”

Bo snapped out of her wonderings to look down at her youngest daughter. “What are you still doing up, baby?” She asked softly, stroking her hair.

“I miss Mommy.”

Bo felt her eyes water, and she quickly gathered Lorelei into a hug. She didn’t want to cry in front of her. “Me too, baby,” she whispered brokenly. “I miss Mommy so much.” Lorelei rubbed her eyes, looking at her little fists in confusion when they came away wet. She was too tired to be sad yet she still was. She buried her face in Bo’s neck and sniffed. “Can I stay wi’ you, Momma?”

“Yeah,” Bo smiled lightly, kissing Lorelei’s forehead and lifting her into her arms. “You can be my snuggle bug.”

“Should we get Izzy?”

“Only if we’re very quiet.” They crept into the girl’s bedroom and Bo set Lorelei down so she could lift Isabel up. She reached down for Lorelei’s hand, one arm supporting Isabel, and she took both girls into her and Tamsin’s bedroom, where they climbed under the covers. Isabel stirred and whimpered in her sleep. “Mom … Tams …”

“It’s Bo, sweetie,” Bo whispered, bending down to kiss her cheek. “Go back to sleep.”

“M’kay,” Isabel murmured, burrowing down into the covers and drifting back to sleep. Lorelei curled up next to Bo and hummed. Bo smiled, looked down at her children and felt pride swell in her chest. Sometimes she couldn’t believe that these beauties were hers. That she and Tamsin had created such perfect children. Sometimes she couldn’t believe that Tamsin was missing these moments with them. The light flickered again and this time there was sound beyond the wind.

 _Wings_.


End file.
